Hal Cruttenden - Stand Up, Writer, Actor

I don’t really listen to modern music any more because I don’t think it really addresses the issue in my life. There aren’t any songs called, ‘Don’t go breaking my heart! I’ve already got a bad back and a dodgy knee!’

I’ve been moaning a lot recently about being away from the family and getting older and my career and how to get my kids into good secondary schools and then I come to Cyprus and play gigs to young soldiers returning from Afghanistan, who’ve just been shot at and blown up and seen friends killed [...]

Having spent nearly three weeks in very hot countries, I really am going to diet. I’ve been doing comedy gigs in Qatar, Abu Dhabi, Dubai and Cyprus, with only about four days in London and I’ve realised that it really is time for me to get thinner. Being tubby in heat is horrible. I sweat [...]

I’m just recovering from diving into our swimming pool here in Cyprus. It’s like a British summer at the moment, ie.not that warm and our villa’s pool is not heated. It was like diving into ice! I’m freezing and even after a hot shower feel chilled. No wonder those poor sods lasted such a short [...]

I’ve just had three nights off in a row which has been lovely. The one thing I really dislike about this job is the fact that it makes you lead a topsy turvy life. While most people work through the day and kick back and relax in the evening, I spend the day building up [...]