Hal Cruttenden - Stand Up, Writer, Actor

I thought I was too old for this. Last night at a gig in Watford, a man approached the stage saying he was going to flatten me because I’d called his mate a c**t (I admit I muttered it in a put down but I couldn’t find a better way to describe him – I [...]

The British people have spoken! Well they’ve not spoken, they’ve muttered incoherently and two political parties who hate each other have had to cobble together a deal or else lose out on power. This is a fascinating time politically but the confusing nature of coalition government is going to make satire even more complicated. I [...]

I don’t really listen to modern music any more because I don’t think it really addresses the issue in my life. There aren’t any songs called, ‘Don’t go breaking my heart! I’ve already got a bad back and a dodgy knee!’

I’ve been moaning a lot recently about being away from the family and getting older and my career and how to get my kids into good secondary schools and then I come to Cyprus and play gigs to young soldiers returning from Afghanistan, who’ve just been shot at and blown up and seen friends killed [...]

If I ever write a sitcom about me and my family, I’m going to have such a tiny part. I seem to be away all the time at the moment. I’ve managed to mess up my kids’ holiday by being away for two weeks of it. No wonder so many performers are crap at keeping [...]