Hal Cruttenden - Stand Up, Writer, Actor

I’m writing this feeling slightly sick after overdosing on a breakfast of blueberry pancakes and maple syrup - when in Rome etc etc…. I’m in Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada, as part of the  ‘Just For Laughs’ Comedy Tour that goes from East to West across this ridiculously large country with its uncommonly friendly people. I’m not just saying that because I’m here and want the audiences to be nice but there is something about Canadians I really like. They’re friendly like Americans but also knowledgeable about the World, unlike Americans - and they’re an ex-colony that doesn’t make you feel guilty if your British - even though we probably did something bad here - we always do!

We’ve only done one gig so far. It was in Saint John, New Brunswick, and the audience were fantastic. They laughed in all the right places and found it hilarious whenever I was slightly rude. I think an English accent sounds funny over here when it says ‘f***’ or ’s***’ - sorry about twee asterisks but I’ve realised members of the family sometimes have a look at this and I’ve had complaints. Anyway the gig was fab. Tonight we’re in Moncton at the Capitol Theatre.

We arrived yesterday in Moncton and at first it seemed a little dull. Then we walked the right way into town and had a great evening. Me, David O’Doherty and Danny Bhoy (yes we have an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman on this tour!) found a great bar where we stayed for four hours doing an epic pub quiz. Of course lots of questions pertaining to Canada were above our heads but we didn’t come last - which is quite impressive considering we’re comedians and really only experts at talking about ourselves. We drunk a range of Canadian beers - it’s like Belgium for choice here - and had a great meal! I am already putting on weight I can feel it. That’s great for my act - I have great fat jokes - but of course damaging for my self-esteem, but then low self esteem is also good for comedy. One of the problems of being a comic is that the worse your life becomes, the funnier you get. I’ve always thought that if my wife Dawn were to ever leave me, it will rip me apart but I know I’ll have a killer 15 to 20 minutes of new material.