Hal Cruttenden - Stand Up, Writer, Actor

I’ve never lost that September feeling of going back to school with strong convictions about how this year I will become a brilliant student and live up to my potential. I don’t think I actually ever had great academic potential but I’m middle class so was brought up with parents telling me that I did.

Anyway, as I walked my kids into school yesterday discussing what great potential they have, I realised that it’s time for me to do some work of my own. I’ve not been writing a lot in the past month. In fact, August was so busy that I completely forgot to blog. I recorded two TV slots, one on ‘The Rob Brydon Show‘ and the other on ‘The Michael McIntyre Roadshow’. I only got McIntyre at the last minute because they were uneasy at how alike Michael and I are. There is a similarity (we’re both tubby, middle class and a bit camp) but I just can’t believe people clump comedians together like that. We tell funny stories and jokes and, unless we’re telling the same funny stories or jokes, we are all absolutely unique. I was on the last show to be recorded at The Bristol Hippodrome and it really was a great night. Michael as ever was superb; Mark Olver opened with some fab stuff about Bristol; I was then thoroughly entertained by myself even though I’d heard all the material before; Seann Walsh is a star in the making; Mike Gunn was shooting from the hip (geddit?); and finally Noel Fielding was other worldly and fantastic. I think it’s going to make a really good show and, as it’s a prime time slot on BBC1, I’m hoping it will be good publicity for the tour.

Recording the slot on Rob’s show was a joy. I’d warmed up the previous five recordings so was very at home in the studio. I do hope the show’s a success. It starts on the night of September 17th on BBC2. I’m not sure what time so just stay glued to BBC2 all night and then go on websites the next day and say it was fabulous. Obviously I don’t really believe that urging my tiny readership to eulogise about Rob’s show is going to ensure a second series for him, but at least I’ve done my bit. I think my show is going to be on October 8th so feel free to tell everyone you know that I’m on that night. I won’t be telling anyone because I like to pretend that being on TV is no big deal for me – no one knows that I lie awake at night.

I’ve just got back from holidays two days ago. We went to a lovely place on the Spanish coast between Valencia and Barcelona. I’m not going to tell you where because I don’t want English people to go there. It was fabulously Spanish, hardly anyone spoke English and it was a nightmare asking directions or ordering in restaurants. However, as a middle class man I am meant to enjoy the fact that holidays are difficult. Somehow it’s seen as tacky to go anywhere where people speak English and there are lots of home comforts. I often wonder if some middle class people watch those Oxfam TV ads saying, ‘Little Khosemi has to walk five miles every day to fetch clean water’ and think ‘Where’s that? It looks smashing!’