Hal Cruttenden - Stand Up, Writer, Actor

Strong whiff of nostalgia last week. ‘Mrs Dalloway‘, a film in which I played young Hugh Whitbread was on BBC4.  It’s not riveting cinema (my mum actually fell asleep when she went to see it – yes her own son was in the movie and she couldn’t keep her eyes open) but, if you’re into Virginia Woolf and have some ability to concentrate (unlike my Mum), it’s a very nice film.

The reason this movie brings back such memories is that, while filming it, I was also preparing for my first ever stand up gig. I was doing a workshop at the City Lit run by Jill Edwards who now runs courses in Brighton. Don’t believe people who say stand up courses aren’t worth it. They may not make you funny but, if you are, they give you a bloody good grounding in what not to do and how to structure your material. Other graduates of Jill’s courses include Jimmy Carr, Shappi Khorsandi, Simon Evans, Addy Van der Borgh and many more.

I discovered the course through a friend, Dave Kline, who I was working with at the BBC (I used to write traffic reports at BBC Travel when not doing acting jobs – do you remember London’s traffic was much worse in the mid 90s – that was me!). Dave told me about this course he was doing in stand up and thought that it would suit me. Stand up had never crossed my mind as a career option. I thought it was for tough laddy types but I saw an opportunity to get paid to act like a prick and I grabbed it with both hands. I still remember walking down to the City Lit from Broadcasting House to sign on for the course. I felt slightly heroic. As if I was finally striking out on my own. My sister’s an actor so doing that job wasn’t very unusual in my family but no one else I’d ever known had been a stand up. A bit later my grandmother reminded me that my great great great uncle had been a clown – shit! I have one of those families that never let you be original – even my oldest sister had read traffic news for the BBC before I did. But seriously, no one in my family had ever tried to make people laugh without putting on scary make up, sitting in a car that falls apart or being hit by a ladder. I was the first subtle comedian in the family – although one could hardly call my act subtle when playing to a rowdy late show at the Store. I haven’t seen Dave Kline for years. He was a naturally brilliant, angry stand up. He’s now doing very well as a script writer and film maker but if he’d kept going as a stand up he’d have been a success at that as well. He didn’t keep going though…many don’t. You’ve got to really love comedy to traipse the circuit for years trying to get anywhere…. well, love it or get married and have kids earlier than planned and desperately need to make a living – sorry I’ve gone back to me again.

With stand up as my background, it was easier to cope with the fact that filming ‘Mrs Dalloway’ was not a very happy job. The other actors all knew each other and had vastly more experience than I did which left me feeling rather out of my depth on set. Looking back I realise that they were probably just very good at bluffing about how well their career’s were going. It wasn’t that people were actively nasty. Most of the actors were very nice people apart from one. He was a particularly haughty twat who was a bit of a bitch behind my back. All I can say is that I rather enjoyed buying my wife’s wedding ring at a jewellers a few years later and finding him working behind the counter. That memory still brings a smile to my face which grows into a maniacal laugh.