Had a lovely gig the other night in Stratford-upon-Avon in aid of Brain Tumour Research. There is one difficult thing about an audience at a benefit – they can be astonishingly sensitive. I’m not exactly offensive as a comic – I think some people are still so obsessed by Brand and Ross’s phone bullying that they’re waiting to be shocked by any comedian they see. At this gig, the following comment met howls of protest from one woman and ferocious shaking of the head by another man at the same table.
ME: (Speaking to attractive woman on a table with a man she claimed to be her son) Are you really his Mum?
WOMAN: Yes I am.
ME: You look too young.
WOMAN: Why thank you!
ME: Are you from a council estate?
It’s an old line of mine and I’ve heard variations from other comics on the same theme. It’s obviously ironic snobbery and that’s why people laugh. However, while the woman the comment was about roared with laughter, another woman looked shocked and furious. I do believe she never forgave me for the rest of the gig. I actually found myself having to protest that it’s a joke, that my wife grew up on a council estate – I am being a comedy snob!
I also had to pull out of my closing joke about parents sending their kids to church schools (brilliant gag – buy the CD to hear it!) because some women started booing a section of the joke that mentions Al Qaeda – just the mention of the name. These women were being friendly but they seriously didn’t trust me to mention that organisation and have a joke at the end of the comment. I mean really!!! Comedy is sometimes about making scary stuff funny and I think I often do it well. The Daily Mail has really done its job of spreading the fear that all comics are moral vacuums who will say anything to be funny, regardless of the offence caused. It’s ironic that I have a gig like this now, because I’m actually trying to do comedy without swearing at the moment. I think it’s an age thing – swearing seems a bit childish to me now. I still use it in everyday speech but I think using it onstage is becoming a bit naff – like I’m trying to be rebelious or cool and that’s really just not me is it? Fuck off it really isn’t me!
