For someone whose job it its to talk endlessly about themselves, it is strange that it’s taken me so long to write my first blog. I’m not only self-obsessed onstage as a comic but, as my wife Dawn will testify, I spend most of my time offstage obsessing about myself as well. Maybe writing this will somehow help me to stop regurgitating whole sections of my life to people who are unfortunate enough to come across me during the day. I even talk to myself when there’s no one else about. That’s schizophrenia isn’t it? I’m also a hypochondriac.
Anyway, I’m in Bristol this weekend. Having a lovely time playing Jesters and the Comedy Box. Last night went very well with okay numbers in both venues. I haven’t played Comedy Box since I was an open spot eight years ago so it was great to go back as headliner and rabbit on for 50 odd minutes. Jesters can be lairy but it’s Bristol so nobody’s very frightening with that accent. At Jesters I’m on with Zoe Lyons and Ian Stone – two of my fave comics. Zoe and I have discovered we’re both doing the Victoria Derbyshire show on Radio Five Live this Tuesday. They want comics on to discuss the nature of the latest Criminal Justice Bill and how much it will affect free speech – I think I’m going to defend the bill when most of the others will be talking about how ‘Political correctness has gone mad’ – I do have a problem discussing politics too much because I’m always drawn to the minority position, one that is often wrong. I think I just hate the certainty of the prevailing position. Anyway, I suppose I’d better do some work checking what I’m arguing about before I go on!
I’ve actually got to go now because I need to prepare for Sunday School tomorrow – I know it’s a shock that a comedian goes to church but with my act I need all the help I can get in the afterlife! Tomorrow I’ll be discussing with my 5 to 7 year olds how Jesus is our king – what does it mean to be a king etc etc… I’m going to make the point that Jesus was a king who didn’t wear fine clothes and have lots of money like our monarch does. Hopefully their young minds will be filled with a sense of injustice at our society ’s inequality, exemplified by our hereditary head of state. With luck, Enfield will be the birthplace of the revolution in twenty years time. You heard it here first.
